The Effects of Solar Radiation on Moon-Based Girls

#%^

2006-07-03T01:16:43Z

I am wanting to update. Don't know why, I just want to. Maybe because I know my loverly bestest friend will soon be leaving me for more concrete pastures and I dont want to think about it, I want to be distracted. And the usual distractions are just not doing it for me. I don't feel like drinking (weird, I know) and there is nothing on the telly (is there ever?), nothing on HBO (how many times can they show fucking Monster-in-Law?), don't feel like being responsible and studying or tidying ... I am not even into online porn at the moment. So an update, yes!
Grad school is going well, I have a 3.9 average and was invited to join Psi Chi, which is an honor's society. When I first told Lottie about Psi Chi, she thought I said "Chai" and thought this was a group of psych students who met up for Chai teas. No, it isn't. If it were, I would so join it. But I digress.
Last week, while backstage at Hedwig at the Roxy, I got to meet former Lemonhead Evan Dando, who smoked heroin right in front of me and everyone else there too. It was so nineties of him, gawd. AND, coincidentally, my Sidekick II died that night too, probably damaged by the opiate fumes. Fucking Lemonhead! So I HAD to buy the Sidekick 3 this week. Sure I could have bought a cheaper phone, but the Sidekick is so good for text messaging and my therapist said she thinks the text messaging will help ease the transition when Lottie moves to New York, so, yeah, it was a therapeutic decision on my part. mmhmm.
What else ...
My job is good. It affords me time to study for school at night and allows for sex and drugs whilst on the company clock. I'm serious! hehehe. It's okay, I wont get fired for these actions because I am doing them with my supervisor!
And, um, I went to club Bang recently. It sucked, but I danced a lot, and this one guy was twirling me around, dipping me and then he flipped me. HE FLIPPED ME! And then promptly dropped me. So I was flat on the floor for a second, much to everyones amusement and my embarrassment. But despite the humiliation, I gleamed form this experience that I really want to take dance classes. Swing and Tango, mainly. I have been saying I want to take classes for awhile, but I really think I should just do it. It's good exercise and so much fun. That is when you aren't dropped on your ass, of course.

That's it really. blah.

new jeers

2006-01-03T05:09:14Z

Well, it's been almost a year since I last updated. I just couldn't see keeping an online journal this past year because this year was just so personal. I know that is the point of having a journal, so you can get, you know, personal, but I just didn't want to do that online. Not that a lot people read this ... but the ones that do would have been massively bored ... and I can't have that.
I think I will make a lot more "friends only" post this year.

Really, the most interesting thing that happened this year was I quit teaching. Finally had enough and moved on. Now instead of working with emotionally disturbed kids, I work in an office with adults ... and while they are technically not labeled "emotionally disturbed," I would have to beg to differ.

2005 was sort of quiet.

But 2006, I know will be different.

Why just a little after midnight on New Year's at some stupid club some friends and I attended, I drunkenly and mistakenly confessed true love to my current job's SUPERVISOR (who is also my friend), nearly threw up in his lap and then cried on his shoulder as The Smiths "How Soon is Now" played because it reminded me of the loneliness of being a teenager. And that was all in the span of just twenty minutes into 2006...

Oh yeah. Good times.

Tomorrow is my first day of grad school. I may, also, be looking at a possible new job, new place, new people soon. My life may be barely recognizable. And that's a really good thing, I think.

But what apparently doesn't change is that I am still a grand goofus ... Noooo, that is the only constant!
And that's really not such a good thing, but what can I do?

happy new years everyone.

haven't updated in ages and when I do, it's this drivel!

2005-02-07T09:13:37Z

crooked from jo_munch

What if's
1) If you could be instantly fluent in one other language that you currently do not read or speak, which would it be?
There are quite a few I would want to speak fluently, but, if I had to pick one, it would be Esperanto so I could enjoy William Shatner's phenomenal performance in the groundbreaking film Incubus without having to read the distracting subtitles.

2) If you could have the starring role in any film already made, what would it be?
I'd be Amelie in the film Amelie.
No, wait, I'd be Clementine in Eternal Sunshine..
No, no, I'd be the female lead in Y Tu Mama Tambien. ... mmm, menage a trois with Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna sounds like my kind of role.
No, scratch all that, I got it this time! I'd play Chloe Sevigny's role in The Brown Bunny.. Hells yeah!

3) If you could receive one small package this very moment, who would it be from and what would be in it?
Actually, I did just receive a small package. It was from my mother and it's a Quesadilla Maker. WHY? I do not know ... Not to sound ungrateful, but of all the most useless gadgets, this has to be the most pointless. I don't even make quesadillas. If I am ever in the mood for a quesadilla, I just walk to The Baja Fresh at the end of my road and buy one there. What possessed my mom to buy me a Quesadilla Maker? What possesses anyone to buy a Quesadilla Maker? Is it that difficult to make one in a pan? For fuck's sake!

4) If you could own one painting from any collection in the world but were not able to sell it, which work of art would you select?
Hmm, I could tell you which painting it wouldn't be! It wouldn't be the Nazi Child painting I "won" in a thoughtless, impulsive act of drunken stupidity. Now I know why art galleries serve free alcohol at openings. So flaky capricious fools like myself will get all loaded and say "Sure I'll bid on that painting. Why not? Not like I'll win anyhow. After all, the bidding started at $450 and with nine people ahead of me, it surely is waaaaay up there by now. Yeah, put me down for $500 ... hmm, I'm gonna get another rum and coke ... lalalaaa." Well, apparently the nine people who bided before me ALL bided $450 and I fucking won. Like I really have the money to be throwing around on nazi paintings. Or on anything, for that matter! Bids are legally binding, you know. So now I have this Nazi painting, which isn't really about Nazi's at all, it has a deeper, more symbolic meaning, but I don't think my landlord, Mel Weinstein, who often makes unexpected repair inspections, would get it. I don't think most people would get it. They'll just think I'm pro-Nazi or some fucked up shit like that. And I'm not! My great grandmother was rumored to be Jewish. She'd probably kick my ass over that painting. Jason Lee wanted this painting, and he's no Nazi! No, he's a scientologist, natch. It's actually a really good painting, just not something I really wanted to pay for and own. Agh, this Vanessa Prager better become BIG, like REAL BIG, I tell you, or I am hunting Jason Lee down and making him buy it off of me.

Oh, um, back to the original question, I would own Van Gogh's Starry Night. It's been a favorite of mine since I was a wee little Nazi, er, lass.

5) If you were instantly able to play one musical instrument perfectly that you never have played before, what would it be?
The bass guitar! I'd buy myself a vintage Flying V bass and rock out hard!
Either that, or the sitar. I was recently struck with the inexplicable inspiration to do a Bollywood sitar remake of The Breeder's song "Saints", complete with swelling orchestral strings ... If you could hear how it sounds in my head, you'd hear how perfect that would be ... or not, I don't know.

6) If you could possess one supernatural ability, what would it be?
I have always wanted to Fly! Fly! FLY!!!! Ah, to glide through the air, dip through the clouds, soar high into the sky's icy heights and piss on all y'all from a high altitude. What joy!

7) If you had to choose the most valuable thing you ever learned what would it be?
Never, ever, get drunk on the free booze at art openings. Ever.

8) If you could have only one piece of furniture in your house, what would it be?
The entertainment center and all it contains. It really is all I really need.

9) If you could read the private diary of someone you know personally, whose diary would it be?
There isn't anybody I would do this to. If you asked me this a few years ago, I would have had an answer, but now is a different story.

10) If you could have one person you know as your slave well-paid and cared for domestic labourer for one month, who would it be?
I'd pick this woman I know at work who has a cleaning OCD. She would keep this place mad clean and disinfected.

11) If you could choose the way you will die, how would you want it to happen?
Remember in the movie Barbarella when Duran Duran tried to kill Barbarella with his Orgasmatron machine? Yeah, that's how I'd like to go. Death by orgasms ... or chocolate, come to think of it. Either would be allriiiiiiight with me.

12) If you could wake up tomorrow to learn that the major newspaper headlines were about you, what would you want them to say?
Conor Oberst to Wed Los Angeles Philanthropist Camille Giardina in Super Secret Scenester-Studded Santeria Ceremony at Jumbo's Clown Room.

13) If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do?
Walk into my supervisor's office and tell her to "suck it." Then I'd piss on her desk ... is this too much info? Next, I'd buy an around the world ticket and get my wanderlust on! And I would mail postcards to my former supervisor from each city I visit simply stating "Suck it."

14) If you could choose the music at your funeral, what would it be, and who would play it?
I'd have Starland Vocal Band get back together to perform what has to be the stupidest, most annoying song the world has ever known, "Afternoon Delight," over and over and over again, continuously, through the whole service. Why? Because I'm dead, what do I care?

15) If you could take away the vocal cords of any person, who would it be?
As awful as it sounds, a certain student comes to mind.

16) If you had to describe your idea of the perfect mate, how would you do it?
First and foremost, he would have to have a terrific sense of humor and a keen sense of self. He would have to be very evolved, very spiritual, enlightened, and empathetic. I would like him to be well in touch with his feminine side. He would have no issue calling himself a feminist! In fact, he'd be proud to do so. He would possess a liberal mind, an open heart. He would be an artist, musician, poet, writer, something along those lines. He would have an adventurous soul, love to travel, love music and film and books, he'd love to have fun and know how to always live in the moment. He'd be full of passion and vision. He would HAVE to be a very honest person. He would have a deep love of all animals. He would be romantic without being annoying. He would love to cook with me. He would love to hear me sing, even when I'm off key. He would wear Halloween costumes with me in the middle of July, just for the fun of it. He wouldn't be offended when I do things without him. He would give me a lot of space and value my independence. He wouldn't have a problem with living in a tree house in the Redwood forest with me when we get old. In fact, he would build the tree house himself. And he would call me his best friend.

17) If you had to have a personal friend redecorate your house, who would you pick to do it?
It would have to be Lottie because she knows what I like and she has good taste.

18) If you had to choose the worst home you've ever lived in, which one was it?
The apartment I lived in Sherman Oaks three/four years ago. Everything about it was wrong, wrong, wrong.

19) If you could have prevented one thing from happening between you and a friend, what would it have been?
probably the whole stalking thing ... but how was I to know?

20) If you could learn the total number of hours you have spent in your life doing one thing, what would it be?
I don't know ... masturbating, I guess.

21) If you had to describe yourself as a child in one word, what would it be?
ADHD ... that's not really a word, is it? Hmm, let's just say "aggressive." The word "weird" also comes to mind.

22) If you could own a single prop from any film ever made what would you choose?
Ok, the prop would be from the Albert Hitchcock film Rope. What I would want from said movie is the fake skyline of New York used outside the apartment's window. I have often said I wanted a fake skyline backdrop for my own window and the one from Rope is the fake skyline to end all fake skylines. Sure a real skyline view would be great but I think a fake one is even better, and the one in Rope, with it's changing lighting, is pure magic. It kicks the real New York's skyline ass, I tell you.

so this is the New Year ... and I don't feel any different

2005-01-03T08:07:53Z

There are many things I love about living in Los Angeles, but one of the best things about it is running into celebs like Tricky and Martina Topley Bird whilst shopping for recycled toilet paper and Linda McCartney butternut squash raviolis at the local Whole Foods Market. Such was the case this morning for Lotpodz and me. Tricky and Martina are the last people I would have ever expected to run into in LA, and I would have totally missed out on noticing them altogether if it wasn't for Lottie's precise star-sighting radar. Her supersensitive celeb senses picked up his voice clear across the store ... okay, it wasn't clear across the store, it was the next aisle over, but still! That's damn impressive! And meeting and speaking with Martina and Tricky was just as impressive. I have to say Tricky was so so so nice and friendly and I was surprised by how sweet his voice is. I half expected his voice to be garbled distortion, but this was not the case. He didn't even have coke in his nose! He was just real and sincere, and sweet, and I love him!

Christmas was all right. I spent two weeks in Florida, stuck at my family's house, or as I came to call it Dysfunction Junction (what's your function? None! It's dysfunctional, dammit). I got to see a really good friend of mine whom I haven't seen in six years. That was great. And I got some really great Christmas gifts, one of which is a Hello Kitty toaster. It burns Hello Kitty's face right onto the toast! I don't even eat toast, but I am going to start now cause I think that is just so cute! (reason 596 why Camille is single).

New Year's was very nice. I originally planned to ring in the New Year peacefully alone, in lotus position, deep in meditation, but then decided shooting Goldschlager with beer chasers at Sean's house sounded more intriguing. And it was good choice. Surrounded by friends I love, standing on the rooftop of a nine story building with beautiful views of skyscrapers and fireworks exploding across the downtown skyline, shouting, whooping and hollering and hearing others across the city yelling merriment's back us is a wonderful way to bring in the New Year, I say! Fuck introspection and spiritual reflection. Drinking in Koreatown rawked.

2004 was a good year. I saw lots of bands, got to know some really cool people, loved and lost and loved again ... and then lost ... and then more loving and moving on, grew spiritually and emotionally, found direction, decided to go on with my education ... I traveled to Paris, London, Hong Kong, China, Vancouver, TEMECULA! But none of this, none of it, compares to meeting and dating Jeremy Sisto ... which did not happen, but there is always 2005.

what in tarnation?

2004-11-24T08:12:17Z

Tomorrow night I leave on a red-eye flight to Florida for thanksgiving and I should be getting my shit together, but instead I am on the computer, updating this journal and checking prices for flights to Japan. I reeeeeally want to go to Japan. All over Japan. I recently talked to a woman at work who taught Engrish there for two years. I got all jazzed and she gave fax numbers and contacts today should I decide to apply. I am so close to applying, but I think perhaps a visit to Japan is in order first. You know, so I can decide if I like it before I upheave my life to live there. Teaching Engrish is not my dream job, but if I don't get into the graduate program I am applying for, then it's domo arigato for me, dammit! That's my plan ... for this week, at least.

Not sure what sort of drama I am in for this weekend, but I made sure my mother stocked up on Grey Goose Vodka just in case. She said she got two bottles ... not nearly enough, but if I couple it with my Codeine pills and Nyquil, I should be able to get by pretty decently.
Speaking of drinking and such, I had a nice weekend. Friday, I procured mary-ju-wanna one degree shy of Woody Harrelson. Yeah, that's right, I got Woody's ganja and it was goooood! I also saw the movie Tarnation with Lotpodz and listened to her burned cd of bad bubblegum music in her car. Both were equally horrifying. Then Saturday some peeps came over my house, including Lottie, Staci, Robert, and Jason and some other non-LJ bipeds. There were much libations downed, celebrity pot smoked, and bad music danced to. We all had a little too much of everything and were unable to make it out to this club we were planning on hitting, which was fine with me, actually. Haven't really been into clubs lately. I feel really over them, in fact. All the posing and posturing. The way over priced drinks. The vapid scenesters. The last club I went to was Club Party Monster for Halloween and everyone was just so self-absorbed and vain, and pathetically blind and oblivious to the artifice of it all. I clearly recall standing outside the perimeter of the dancefloor, holding my drink, surveying the scene thinking the degree of narcissim and shallowness I was observing was leaving a sick knot in my stomach ... It was making me physically ill. Of course, I admit that sick feeling might have been due in part to alcohol poisoning ... and yeah, I also do admit that while surveying the sad scene I just described and coming to the above conclusions, I did hear Stacy Q's "Two of Hearts" and I did find myself dropping all such reflections as I tossed my drink down my throat and made a mad dash to the dancefloor, knocking over two "club kids" in my haste, so I can gyrate in the center of the dancefloor while lip-synching along, "I need you, I need you, come on, come on .." Yeah, I do admit that, but I really do feel disconnected to the club thing and it's shallowness. And so what I got all giddy because a guy leaning against the wall by the bathrooms tried to sell me exctasy? That was only because it was so "After-School Special" and it also reminded me of one of those "Very Special Episodes of ... " type programs. Seriously, the scene just doesn't hold the same appeal it used to. Besides, clubs don't play the sort of kicking jams played at my house Saturday night. We're talking Lisa Lisa, Vanity, Apollonia 6, Debbie Deb ... hehe ...yes, clubs are lame. I am over it ... I am pretty sure ... somewhat.

Gosh, I really am getting old, huh? I mean, I want to "check out" Japan before moving there? How cautious and practical is that? Boring. I am over clubs and would rather chance pissing off my neighbors as I blast bad 80's pop and dance around my apartment smoking celebrity bud? Um, uh ... Sunday night I even went to Spaceland to see Smog and found myself annoyed with the opening act, a guy who played experimental music in a closed, lighted-from- the-inside camping tent. In my younger days, I would have thought that was novel and inventive. Now I just roll my eyes at his "pretension" and loudly demand he do shadow puppets to keep me entertained. And after Smog performed, I looked at watch and said "damn, it's late." ... It was 12:30.

Damn. Old!

the prophecy of dreams?

2004-11-17T08:02:00Z

I recently had a most curious dream last week. I dreamt I was finally updating this journal after weeks of neglect. The entry went like this;

Well, lots of wonderful things have happened to me this year. I have loved. I have laughed. I have never felt more comfortable being me. I know myself better than ever before. I understand people and the world and all its mysteries better than ever before. I have a beautiful mother, beautiful friends. I saw loads of great bands. I have a new computer now. I traveled to Hong Kong ... But none of these things compare to finally meeting Jeremy Sisto and dating him. NONE of it!

Then my dream meandered into a flashback sequence of how Jeremy and I, obvious soulmates, met. Something to do with Mr. Sisto driving in my parents Miami Beach neighborhood with nature calling something fierce. So naturally he knocks on the first available house door he sees, that which belonging to my folks. I let him in and allow him use of their toilet. As he does his business, I talk to him through the bathroom door. We share many a laugh and intimacies through that bathroom door while he "makes,", so by the time he flushes the john, he is smitten with me. This is the stuff great romances are based on, no?

And the strange thing is, this dream is true. These things did happen. NOT the Jeremy Sisto part, sadly, but all the other things. I have loved, laughed, grew as a person, saw countless concerts, got a new computer last month (finally), and traveled to Hong Kong. In fact, I had this dream whilst in China on holiday last week. My journal entry, minus one element, is just as I dreamed it to be.

AND ...

next week I am going to my parents house for Thanksgiving ... My parents in Miami Beach. My parents in Miami Beach with the bathroom. Who knows who may be driving by their house with an intense need to drain his snake? It just may be Jeremy Sisto! And I'll be ready, arms open ... with my heart in one hand and a can of air freshener in the other. All for you Jeremy, all for you.

It could happen, shut up!

Let me take you down the corridors of my life

2004-08-12T23:02:10Z

Well, goddam, it’s hard to update this journal thanks to Dean and all his “little projects.” Bastard! Anyway, here is a quick update, or rather, what I hope will be a quick update of what’s been going down for meh.

1) I saw GARDEN STATE twice and will no doubt see it again, I love it that much. Haven’t seen a movie this great since ETERNAL SUNSHINE. If you haven’t seen it, get thee to the movies. Trust me, you will fall in love with this film … and you will fall in love with Zach Braff too, but back off, he is MINE. Which leads me to number 2…
2) I have left Jack Black for Zach Braff. It’s true love forever. Mmhmm.
3) After much soul searching, I was hit with an epiphany. I am going back to school to work on a doctorate degree in psychology. I truly believe it is what I am meant to do. After all, I am more than prone to picking apart and overanalyzing any little thing said to me as it is and I am forever listening to everyone tell me all their problems and issues, may as well start charging their asses for it. Of course, that will mean I actually have to listen to them when they speak, as opposed to zoning out like I normally do, but I think with practice I can feign concern if there is an exchange of money involved.
4) I saw Rufus Wainwright perform up-close and personal at the Hotel Café. It was an exclusive show for only 100 people and I got to go!!! It was great. I love him and his sideburns. My boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend, Kirsten Dunst, was there, which was a little weird, but we managed not to cat-fight over Jake.
5) I went to a Kirtan this past Tuesday, courtesy of Avi. It was great and I can see how under the right circumstances, kirtan/chant can be a really powerful, moving experience. When I say under the right circumstances, I mean less rich, white, upwardly mobile, SUV driving, yoga outfit wearing, soy mocha latte sipping yuppies and more pillows/cushions. My ass was completely numb from sitting on the hardwood floor for nearly 3 hours. But that aside, kirtan was very cool and I am happy and thankful Avi took me.
6) This weekend I am seeing PJ Harvey and The Black Heart Procession. And I am having Jason come over and give me a tattoo in the comfort and privacy of my cat-fur-covered home. Then possibly Tiki Ti’s for girlie cocktails.
7) My last day at the Post Group is next Friday. It is also Lottie’s last day too. We decided we couldn’t work here without each other. Some may think that is awfully codependent. And it is. So what?
8) I am eating a cookie now.
9) Dean and his “little projects” for me are on my last nerve.
10) Um.
11) Yeah.
12) I think that’s all for now.

I should be more selective about what goes in my mouth...

2004-07-19T23:17:06Z

Just got back from a most disturbing lunch. I went to a Japanese restaurant called Kabuki with Lottie and Dean. Lottie ate safe “white girl” fare of tempura. Dean and I shared some sushi, which is always fine and good, except today I felt adventurous and convinced Dean to share an order of Sea Urchin with me. I never had it before, but the menu described it as having a nutty, buttery flavor, which sounded quite pleasant. After all, I like butter and I like nuts (keep the jokes to yourself, pervert). The menu also stated that Urchin was for the more “advanced” sushi eater. So, of course, I had to have it now as I felt this was a direct challenge! Bring it on, I thought!! Well, the sushi arrived all pretty, compact and jewel-like. Little artistic creations. All except the Sea Urchin, which looked like orange tinted vomit resting on a bed of rice. We saved the Urchin for last, as it was completely unappealing looking, but I held hope that it would taste better than it looked. It didn’t! It was one of the worst things I ever put in my mouth, actually (save the jokes, perv). The gelatinous mass filled my mouth with a flavor I can only describe as akin to rotten frothy cheese. I had it in my mouth for three seconds before Lottie read my face and quickly handed me napkins to spit out the spew-inducing "delicacy." One more micro-second and I would have no doubt vomited! Actually, vomiting would have left a better flavor in my mouth. Sea Urchin, what was I thinking. Didn't Homer Simpson almost die from that? ABSOLUTELY VILE!!! I wont be having sushi for a long time to come as this experience has really turned me off to the whole thing.

In other news, I saw THE CORPORATION Saturday. It left me with an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. Of course we as individuals can do a little something everyday, take steps in awareness and action towards anti-globalization. I say this, but then after the movie I went to a restaurant called LuLu’s, which features the most addictive, joy inducing dessert this side of the planet called The Deep Fried Corporate Twinkie. I added the corporate part. But, yeah, it is the yummiest corporate dessert ever!

Speaking of adding parts, the ID card I wear at the job identifies me as “Accounting Temp.” I penciled in a “t” so now it reads “Accounting Tempt.” Heh.

testes, testes 1, 2, 3 ...

2004-07-15T22:14:00Z

Doooood, it’s been ages since I’ve updated this journal. My computer is still out of commission, but I am working a summer job in a small sliver of office hell called The Post Group. It’s boring, taxing, number crunching, brain draining tedium, but it has some perks. Number One Perk, it pays, which is helpful as I don’t think I could have afforded to not work at all this summer, especially the way I have been throwing money around lately. Perk Number Two, fresh baked cookies, fresh fruit, and diet coke, all free, free, free, available to me daily in the Cantina! Perk Number Three, and the best perk of them all, I work in the same office as my girl Lottie, which, of course, rocks!! I would say Perk Number Four would be computer/internet access, however I rarely get to indulge in this activity because every time I slip from the boring task at hand and wander into loverly cyberspace, fucking Dean (sort of boss man) comes into my office. It’s like he just knows. Motherfucker!
Hehee. Just kidding about him being a motherfucker. I like him a lot, actually, think he’s great, but I find his annoying penchant for work, work, work, highly irritating.

Ok, a little off topic, but speaking of Dean, he told me recently his TV is about to die and I saw this as the perfect opportunity to try convincing him that throwing his tv out the window is a really great idea. I mean, it’s not working anyway, he will need to dispense of it somehow. May as well do it like a Rock Star. I’ve always wanted to throw a tv out the window and hear it crash several stories below. I have actually talked a few inebriated friends into it before, but they have all wussed out at the last minute. I would do it myself, but I live on the first floor and that would be rather undramatic. And then I’d have to clean it all up afterwards because I’m responsible and shit and would feel guilty for making a mess. Besides, if I threw my tv out the window I wouldn’t be able to catch next weeks episode of Andy Dick’s show The Assistant, or, rather, The ASS-istant, as Mr. Dick called it. I saw the first episode last night and am ashamed to say I thought it was brilliant.
So, yeah, better to convince others to toss their tellies. Hmmm, perhaps I should take Dean out for a few cocktails this weekend, mmmhmm.

Speaking of Dean, yet again, he just came in here and nearly busted me doing this, yet again!!!! For chrissake, can’t I have a little time to settle in? I only just got back from lunch an hour and a half ago. Can’t I have a few moments to myself to settle in, finish my soda and this journal entry, bid on a few eBay auctions, make a few personal phone calls, say hi to the guys in the Vault, make out with one of them in the back alley, grab a cookie from The Cantina and read the new edition of The LA Weekly? NOOOOOOOOO, it’s work, work, work with that man. My freaking nails haven’t even dried yet from the Liquid Paper polishing I gave them twenty minutes ago! Good gawd, he thinks I’m a slave or something.

Well, back to the half-assed grind, I suppose.

a quickie

2004-05-03T01:08:20Z

Well, my computer has finally gotten her hot tail into some trouble. She skanked around cyber space with no protection, or discretion, and downloaded a nasty virus. Now files are corrupted, damaged ... I can't even turn her on anymore! I don't know what to do ... I'm on a friend's computer now, but it's just not the same. I miss my slutty puter!!

So I have to make this quick. I just want to say tomorrow is my birthday and I am not even depressed about it, like I normally get about birthdays. Why? Because I have had such a fantastic wonderful year and I feel so much more good is to come, I am too excited about this rotation around the sun and all it may bring! Yeah! Of course going to San Diego to see Belle and Sebastian with my bestest friend helps the birthday pill go down easier too.

Um, what else? Canada was GREAT!!! Much self discovery, newly discovered strength, awareness, blah, blah, blah. Most importantly I met some wonderful people, got lit daily, roasted marshmallows on the beach at 2am, was indirectly responsible for someone quitting thei job and moving, discussed Fast Food Nation with Australians, got lost, got found, and found a whole lot of romance (as scheduled).

I saw Black Heart Procession last Friday. Just brilliant!
Saw the new Jack Black movie called ENVY Saturday. Just horrendous!
I am thinking about quitting my job and becoming a bike courier. Just a thought!
Oh and I miss reading live journal. I miss my computer. I miss my mp3's. I miss my space porn.
Other than that, all is well. Wish my ass a happy birthday, will you?!

holy moley

2004-04-05T09:30:03Z

So check it, I only have like 10 minutes on this damn puter, but I just want to say I am drunk and in Vancouver, hahahaa ... don't know why that is funny to me, but it is. Tonight I went to this goth club called Sanctuary. I met this guy named Jaz and fell in loooove. He said I reminded him of Christine Ricci (goldfish eyes, you know). I said, "should I be insulted?" He said "hell no , Honey!" and grabbed my hand and led me on the dance floor, where we danced rather dramtically (but with a wink) to Sister's of Mercy! I looooooved him. He loved me. Of course he is queerer than a two dollar bill, which is common in Canada, actually. Wait, no, they have two dollar COINS here, not bills. Whatevers. I also met this girl named Gill. I am going over to her house tomorrow for vegetable stir fry. Yay!
Everything is going well. I have walked ths city back and forth. The hostel is cool. I like two out of my three roommates. The German girl and the Japanese girl are cool. The Aussie incites me to violence. I already have told her off a few times. Other than that, communal living agrees with me and I am enjoying all the people here at the Hostel.
As for Vancouver, I just want to say, DAMN, there is every drug known to man readliy available to me, and some drugs only known to horses. if you catch my drift. Boy am I drunk. Anyhoo, yeah, loads of drugs. Freaky man. Vancouver is really beautiful, but it lacks soul, lacks a heart. It is weird, but I told this to this British girl I met last night, and she whole heartedly agreed, Vancouver is a very lonley lady. She had her heart broken and she knows not how to repair it. Very strange vibes she exudes ... But that doesn't matter .. despite the weirdness, I am having a great time and am loving my time here. Yah

issues and tissues

2004-04-03T10:11:47Z

I am freaking out, man!!
In a few hours I am leaving on yet another trip, this time ALONE, this time to Vancouver, a destination I picked based solely on that voice in my head some call intuition. However, I am beginning to question the legitimacy of this "voice." I mean, how do I know if this really was intuition and not just the early onset of a mental disorder? And why Vancouver? Paris has the Eiffel Tower. London has Big Ben. Amsterdam ... heh, well, you know what that place has! Anne Frank's Annex, of course. But what does Vancouver have? A really - big - park. It has become a running joke amongst friends that I am going have a great time ... at the park. "What is your itinerary, Camille?" they ask. "Oh, I am going to walk around, see the sites." "Of what, the park?" Laughter follows ... Ugh, I feel stressed and jittery and wound up. This is crazy ... but exciting too.

I would like to also add that I just had a really bad Kleenex experience. Apparently last Saturday when I was loaded, I came home from clubbing and cavorting and thought it would be a good idea to wear half full Kleenex Tissue boxes on my feet as slippers around the house. At the time, I thought it was just hilarious. And comfy too. I forgot about this, I forgot I did that ... until now, when I reached for a tissue to blow my nose and was utterly confused and wondering what the hell sort of scent is that?!?! Why, that's not Fresh Scent! That smells like ... and then the memory came back to me. Talk about scent triggered memories.

I am still really freaked out!

it was a trail of rainbow carnage!

2004-03-27T04:18:40Z

That's me in Paris, photo taken within the first few seconds of the first snowfall. We had just walked out of a restaurant just off the Champs-Elysees when we saw the first flakes trickling downward. A very magical moment ....

if you wanna be bored silly, hit the link and view a very small bit of my euro photos ...

The Underground -Lottie and Paul on the up escalator. Lottie is giving her "come hither" look.

The Pere-Lachaise cemetery

Jim Morrison's grave. The bust no longer is there because fans were vandalizing it and such.

My artsy photo of the Champs-Elysees

another Champs photo

I was on a Paris train ... i emerged in London rain

can you can-can-can?

A seemingly never-ending uphill walk on this hilly back alley to our Montmartre hotel.

One of 15 Eiffel Tower pictures ... gawd!

art school attempt of photography of crowd of kids in front of Norte Dame

even the ordinary streets are pretty in Paris

Imagine having to walk these stairs after running around the city all day. Or worse, after running around the city AND having downed several lagers. But it was one of the only ways to get to our hotel, so it had to be done.

London Underground - Although there were signs everywhere that read "NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY PERMITTED," I managed.

Sean doing what all tourists must do!

A little of London

A pic of me. Saatchi Gallery in front of me, the Thames and Big Ben behind. I am all happy and shit ... and cold ... really fucking cold.

Ye old London Town ... This Dragon statue welcomes you to city center.

mmmm, Cadbury Creme Eggs!!! You know you can buy them from vending machines as you wait for the train. Dangerous!

Tonight I am off to explore the origins of love. Tonight I break out the glitter for the monthly midnight showing of Hedwig and the Angry Inch done Rocky Horror style. Tonight should be fun, fun, fun ... YOU should go!

Oh, and Avi, "Fuck you, I'm going to Guam!"
that's what you get for not going!!! heh...

permission to rock not granted

2004-03-23T02:53:59Z

Last month I was depressed because I couldn't get tickets to The Darkness concert. They sold out in like 5 seconds and I was terribly, terribly disappointed, not only because I like them and think they would RAWK live, but also because I had bought this really flash tiger-print spandex outfit to wear to it. Now what was I going to do with said outfit??? oh, sadness!

Well, things started looking up Friday, Janel's birthday. Finally, a special occasion to wear the spandex. No, it wasn't a Darkness concert, it wasn't even some two bit local hair band at The Rainbow Room. It was a night of drinking at The BigFoot Lodge, but hey, an excuse to dress up rock star style, nonetheless.

SO there I was, on a Los Feliz Blvd sidewalk, standing in a line of so called hipsters (none of which had the fashion forward sense to don the spandex like me), when suddenly the heavy scent of Aqua Net filled the air. The dense tacky hair spray molecules hovered over my head like a blanket. I asphyxiated under it, trapped in a cloud of perfumed haze ... And that's when it happened ... I was surrounded, cornered like a trapped tiger-striped, er, animal and then mugged of my flash outfit by a roving band of David Lee Roth impersonators ...

Stripped of my stripes, I stood naked and crying, like an Alanis Morissette video.
And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, my consorts decide they don't want to wait in line anymore and drag my mugged ass to this bar in ... gasp ... THE VALLEY! Talk about humiliation tacked upon humiliation.

Tonight I am going to see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind ... sans spandex, needless to say ... and that cheers me up!

I saw London, I saw France

2004-03-15T02:03:09Z

Feeling almost delirious with exhaustion, yet strangely I can't sleep or rest. My body and mind had no issue falling into Europe's time and rhythm, yet it is fighting Los Angeles time like a demon ... hmm, is this a sign?
I hope all this makes sense. I have slept maybe four hours in the last few days. I am tired and all emo, so forgive me if what I say behind the cut tag is overly over the top ... especially towards the end ...

I don't know where to begin. I had such a wondrous, fantastic time that I feel a vague sense of sadness now that it is over and I am here ... in LA ... and it's warm ... and I go back to work tomorrow ... and reality rears its ugly head again ... and I wish wish wish I could be back in London at The Saatchi Gallery face to face with Damien Hirst's enormous Hymn and the Chapman brothers nightmarish vision of Hell. Or at the Old Operating Museum writhing at the site of actual nineteenth century medical instruments used by surgeons in amputations, trephination, bloodletting, and child birth. Or at the top of an open air double decker bus gasping at the site of Big Ben and Parliament lit up at night in radiant golden hues against an utterly gothic dark cloudy backdrop. I wish I was running around Camden Town markets again buying more space-age rings and pretty things. Ah, to be back in Paris, a city so goddamned beautiful it literally broke my heart into a million weeping pieces. Why didn't I take up that cute waiter's offer to stay in Paris with him? He offered to teach me French in exchange for something sweet from me ... sounds like a fair deal, come to think of it. Why didn't I? I would take him up on that now ... Ooh, I want to relive the surreal moments of our stroll through the Pere-Lachaise cemetery, with its grand mansions for the dead and its fragile marble tombs and weathered granite angels, sullen and decayed like the bodies of the souls they are guarding. We lost our way to Jim Morrison's grave, but didn't care because we were lost in the hauntingly ethereal beauty of this atmospheric cemetery. Mystic and otherworldly, it was. And just when I thought my heart would burst from all this beauty, the gray sky burst open itself and spilled forth pristine spiraling almost-glowing white snowflakes, which softly landed on the faces of the statues of saints and cherubs and us. It was picturesque perfection. And though I was surrounded by the dead, I never felt more alive. I want to be back wondering the cobblestone streets of Montmartre, lager in hand, warm buzz in my brain, bunny ears on head, amusing the locals at the Brasseries I passed on my way to Sacre-Coeur, which was lit up brilliant, high on a hill, glowing against the dark cold Parisian night sky. And I wish I could be back at that little market we frequented for beer and vodka, where we were sure we offended the shop keeper with our drunken crude use of French and our dancing about her store to the tune of "Funky Town" from her little radio. Turned out she didn't hate us, actually. She liked us a lot. She gave us huge smiles and jokes in French and a huge bag of crisps worth $5 as a gift to us our last night there. I wanted to throw my arms around her, I was so touched, but I didn't because she didn't seem the type who could handle that sort of affection ... now I sort of wish I had anyway.

I drank beer in a pub that had been in operation since the 800's. Centuries of drunks had sat where I was sitting, drinking their brews, like I was myself. It blew my mind.

It snowed briefly in Paris twice while we there. I counted the snowflakes that landed on my shoulder with childlike amazement and wonder the first time. I held my gloved hands and pink face to the sky and felt kissed by heaven as I spun around the icy shower that fell on the Champs Elysee. It had been years since I last saw snow and now I was dancing in it ... on the Champs, no less!

I stood in the cobbled stone court yard of the very pub where Shakespeare used to throw one back centuries before.

I laughed until I cried when Sean, drunk and feeling cheeky, took our dare and rolled himself down the steep grass hill in front of the Sacre-Coeur, slightly injuring himself, much to Lotz and my amusement!

When I was in the UK, I would wake up in the morning and look out my window to the site of a vast British forest, trees hundreds of years old.

I stood in awe as I stood inside the Southwark Cathedral, a church on the South Bank of the Thames River that was built in 1220. Its stained glass saints glowing brightly before me, casting jewel-like colored hues on my hands.

I come from a place where the oldest buildings are from the 1920s.
I can't tell you how it feels to be constantly confronted with such rich, ornate history. To lose yourself in the details of one building's intricate, incredibly detailed architecture, only to realize the one next to it and the one next to that and so on and so forth is just as detailed, just as old, just as beautiful ... I was all agog, mind a-boggled.

We did so much in such little time, it was non stop go go go. It was nothing short of heart achingly wonderful. When my plane was nearing Los Angeles yesterday afternoon, I looked out my window and saw the city, my city, and it was tinted with a slight brownish hue of smoggy haze. I didn't want to land. But then I remembered the news I heard on my little airplane TV about the Madrid bombings. I fought tears as I saw the carnage, the blood soaked images of the dead, and the pain of the survivors. And then I thought how it could have been me or you or any of us anywhere, anytime, any manner. How lucky we are to have the chances, the opportunities, to experience this world, this life, and we are stupid if we don't learn all we can, see all we can, feel all we can, love all we can, fucking touch everyfuckingthing, soak it all up because you never know, one day, you are on a train on the way to work, or a plane on your way to visit family, or on your bike riding in traffic or, hell, passed out on your bed one drunken night choking on your own sick a la Hendrix, and BOOM, it's over. And what was it all for if you didn't live, baby, LIVE when you had the chance?
What tokens of beauty and of wisdom will you carry into infinity if you didn't live to begin with?

So, I landed and was thankful to. The world awaits ... and so did a Yeah Yeah Yeahs concert that night. Yes, that's right; an 11 hour transatlantic flight, followed by a concert, a night of 4 hours sleep, and work tomorrow with emotionally disturbed teeneagers. I am fucked in many a ways, but mostly in a good way. Life is good. Or at least as good as I allow it to be. I should not complain.

no more lifeache...
just life...
and awake...
and
love
love
love

a departing gift of turtle wax

2004-03-05T02:43:26Z

This has not been a good week. Due to a nasty spell of the PMS, I have been feeling unusually sullen and moody. I just want to shut the door to my room and play music as I lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling and wish I could be someone else, somewhere else. My god, I have reverted back into the high school 1989 version of Camille this past week. All I am missing is the ever-present Mead Composition Book filled with lovesick poetry dedicated to an unattainable love ... oh wait, I do have that only it's not Mead, it's a cork cover journal filled not with courtly poetry, but with existential angst ridden prose. Whatever. When, oh when will this period arrive? When I am in PARIS! NOOOOO! It is bad enough I drunkenly insisted my friend Sean join Lottie and me in Paris, potentially thwarting my ability of hooking up with Vincent Cassel or anyone else for that matter. (Sean may be misinterpreted by the French male population as my boyfriend, thereby leaving me unapproachable). Add to this the complication of trying to hookup, not only with Sean looming about me, but while also riding the crimson wave. (((groan))) ... Although ... I bet Vincent wouldn't mind it. Nay, I think he'd like it. He seems dirty enough to be all about it in fact ... aaaahh$%#7 ... *lost in thought* .... mmm ... Ok, where was I? Oh yes, I have been so blue. Although my spirits are lifting as I draw closer and closer to my flight (tomorrow at 5pm) some sadness still lingers, not only due to hormones, but due to something a little more concrete too... Habib is gone.

Yesterday I come home from work and immediately call Lottie as I do everyday when I get home. We are talking about this, that, and the other when I walk over to the shelf I keep Habib and his little fake palm tree decorated habitat. I look in to pluck him out, but no Habib! I move the fluorescent multi-colored rocks around. Perhaps he is under them. NO, he isn't. I start to FREAK OUT. Lottie is rendered deaf. He must have somehow, someway crawled out and fell off the shelf. I moved the sofa, I moved my bed, I moved all I could, but he was no where to be seen. Then I look over at my cats. The chances are slim to none that my cats did not make a toy/treat out of him ... but you never know. Maybe he is somewhere hiding in his little shell, waiting for someone to dunk back into the cool waters of his little turtle habitat? The thought of him possibly being alive somewhere in the house haunts me. The thought of my cats eating widdle Habib haunts me too. I feel absolutely heartsick.

a lass and her lassitude

2004-03-01T06:11:23Z

Tonight is pretty lame. I feel lethargic ... languid. I am choking on apathy, gagging on inertia.
And, yes, I feel a tad touch dramatic.
This evening consists of me drinking copious amounts of Vanilla Coke, eating copious amounts of wontons, restlessly trying to get comfortable on the sofa, then the floor, then the sofa again, and channel surfing back and forth between Willy Wonka and Phantom Menace. The only thing that could make the scene more pathetic would be for me to cruise the internet for porn while drinking Coors, but I'm too lazy to do even that. It's a wonder I am even typing this.

And I really don't have much to complain about. I had a good weekend. I saw Low, not only on Saturday at The Knitting Factory, but on Friday too, at Spaceland. I saw a loverly friend of mine today and we went to Amoeba, where I purchased The Division of Laura Lee, which my friend described as "Interpol getting gang-raped by The Hives." I think he hit it dead on with that description! And we had lunch at Barney's Beanery. It was greasy and nasty and our forks were dirty, just as it should be. And I hung out with Lottie yesterday and found realistic prosthetic pieces for my next Halloween costume (yes, I am already thinking of Halloween!) And I have had the apartment to myself all weekend. Got to walk around sans clothes and pee with the door open. In all, a good weekend ...

Yet still this wretched feeling ... like I am a child who must be entertained, thirsty for constant stimulation. And since I am not entertained, I just don't know what to do with myself. Perhaps I should spin some of that Division of Laura Lee again and fuck shit up rock star-style... which would of course just leave me with a fucked up apartment which I'd then have to straighten again. (It sucks to be responsible and semi-mature!) Ah, maybe I'll just go to bed early -- is it just me, or does Sunday lull you into a state of complete sloth too? The muck posing as Chinese food that I ordered from Rice Chinese Restaurant is only adding to my nascent comatose state...

sigh .... *watching Willy Wonka now*
I love girls who act like Veruca Salt. Is it wrong to say Veruca turns me on? I mean, if she were just a little older, of course.

galaxina @ 2004-02-22T20:26:00

2004-02-23T04:04:45Z

Yesterday was rather nice. Although I was nearly swayed by a lovely temptress, I held to my original plans last night and went to The Echo for Hang the DJ's. I saw my one-sided-homo-attachment-imaginary-lover friend Adam's band Cougar perform. It was the first time I saw them perform and I was quite impressed with them. If you like SynthWave, Electro-pop, check 'em out! Whilst there, I had the glorious good fortune of running into the ever adorable Mani! Haven't seen him in a loooooooong time and it was great to behold him ... and apparently I am not the only one who thought so as he had a gaggle of girlies who liked beholding him as well. Very nice. After the band performed, Lotz and I wanted to keep our buzzes going, so we hit a couple of Silverlake bars, one of which posed the question, "How do you know if you are in a gay bar?" Answer, "You hear Olivia Newton John's "Xanadu" on the sound system and all the patrons gasp in delite." Needless to say, I did not score last night. We closed the evening with a trip to Pioneer Chicken and a rather disappointing stop at Ralph's where we tried to score birthday hats for my cat Sukiyaki Yamamoto (whose birthday is today), but couldn't because Ralph's is no longer 24hrs. GRRR, stupid strike!

Yesterday was also great because I got a sweet little turtle in Downtown. Meet Habib. Is he not the cutest???

here are some pics from today in a car

i look like an elf

This is me holding a Grand Lux beeper today at brunch ... Ryan wasn't working today, poop!

This is a pic of a billboard on Sunset announcing the upcoming Vanity Fair issue featuring my love, my future husband, my honey bunny Jack Black! sigh...

And this is Suki. Today is her birthday and she turns 2! She looks pissed off, but really, she is quite happy ... I think.

ok, picture time is over ...

did you know I am a monument to 1930s romantic glamour?

2004-02-21T18:50:09Z

stole this from that lottie girl ... wow, like #8 blows me away, ha! #9 is very true!

all agog and googled

camille is one of the hottest brunette porn stars
camille is one of my favourite singers ever
camille is a true point
camille is the guardian angel assigned to paul edward napora at his birth
camille is sitting on an ebony throne
camille is 4
camille is now a two year old little girl
camille is vaguely unhappy with martin and her life
camille is a fun loving bear who enjoys parties and the gay social life
camille is going to make prolific video art which challenges concepts of time
camille is one of the best teachers i have ever had
camille is an artist of today
camille is our divemaster
camille is offended
camille is quite hilarious and highly recommended
camille is a vision in lace her straw hat is adorned with feathers and held on by a chiffon tie
camille is presently in her fourth year out of a six year pharmd program at the university of the sciences of philadelphia
camille is een wolharige mammoet
camille is very involved in dancing and has been taking ballet
camille is literally like entering another world
camille is "twelve and three quarters
camille is now back home
camille is a charter member of the board of the alliance for redesigning government
camille is a beautiful vintage needlepoint purse available as part of the 'heavenly handbags' collection
camille is the author of meditation secrets for women
camille is featured as the "meditation expert" in the first edition of the kali guide
camille is an open heart
camille is currently detained in the delmas police station
camille is forced to abandon her dreams of life with duval by the intolerance of french society which would doom his career and prevent his sister from
camille is a lecturer at a christian college
camille is daichi's look
camille is a bench mark in the american hurricane experience
camille is best known for her work as visual effects producer on james cameron's titanic
camille is disappointed but persistent
camille is an ex
camille is an astoundingly talented artist
camille is most critics' favourite garbo movie
camille is tender with her husband
camille is best known for her commitment to breast cancer awareness
camille is playing truant and leaves school
camille is talking with her in her room
camille is 12 and she is finding that growing up is hard
camille is a newtype
camille is running in the forest
camille is able to offer spa students tuition and practice with wet bed treatments and vichy shower massage
camille is here
camille is a smartcard operating system prototype designed to download applications and os components represented in a dedicated intermediate language
camille is so happy that she has a buddy
camille is escaping from the police officer who has her under arrest
camille is president of the northern california chapter of the mystery writers of america
camille is best remembered for her anguished state
camille is from the south of france
camille is drawn into a world whose existence she never dared imagined
camille is proud that her brothers have both graduated from college and have good jobs
camille is on the armchair
camille is said to be the worst storm ever to hit mainland united states
camille is eight years old
camille is creating "hyacinth"
camille is the gti model
camille is a typical brit
camille is increasingly elaborate by her artistic vigor and provokes a family schism
camille is one of the most talented artists i've had the pleasure of working with
camille is lured into the seductive
camille is a computational implementation of a conservative
camille is a monument to 1930s romantic glamour
camille is returning to paris for the first time since she left pierre and moved to italy
camille is disturbed when he sees that fa's house has been leveled by the conflict
camille is having difficulty with her sense of direction
camille is afraid of her feelings for petra and asks if they can just be friends
camille is a lecturer at a protestant college
camille is very shocked when petra makes her clear offers
camille is a heavy coffee drinker
camille is a graduate assistant with the career counseling services

sans work ... and genitals

2004-02-18T03:35:35Z

Wonderful, wonderful day!
I got a call at 7:25am from my gal Lottie. She told me she had just made up some elaborate lie to get out of work today and I should do the same. But no, I was adamant that I had to go to work today. After all, yesterday was a holiday and it looks really bad calling in after a holiday. Not only that, but I leave for Europe in a few weeks and I am super fortunate that I was granted the time off to do that. To call in today would, again, just look really bad on my part. And there is so much work to do, papers piling on my desk, forms that need distribution, kids that need correcting, etc. It would be HIGHLY irresponsible of me not to go to work today, I kept saying.

So of course, I made all the appropriate phone calls, complained of some mysterious gastric distress disorder and took the day off! How I love not to work ... Lottie and I tooled around town, spending entirely too much money on meals, music, makeup and dvds ... you know, the essential things in life. Had entirely too much fun and am considering making my "gastric distress" issues more grave and calling in again tomorrow ...

One of my essential purchases was a PLAYBOY magazine. And I swear it was for the articles. Really. I mean it. I find PLAYBOY to be a big waste of money and paper, but if you are a fan of Chuck Palahniuk, like I am, you too should plunk down the overinflated price of $6 and check out the latest issue. It features the "controversial," hilarious short story, entitled "Guts," Chuck read on his Diary tour that made a total of 39 people pass out across the world, one of which was at the LA reading I attended. Hehehe. Originally PLAYBOY didn't want to publish it because they found it too disgusting and horrific for their glossy mag, but I guess they had a change of heart and decided to go with it and not be such pussies! ...
Speaking of pussy, the women in PLAYBOY are so heavily retouched that some are missing essential body parts. Take a look at some of the pics below. There are some integral elements that were erased accidentally. What I am trying to say is, some of the women are sans slits! Barbie doll crotches! No sideway smiles! Look!!!

That is not normal. It reminds me of Barbie. It reminds me of genital-less aliens. It reminds me of this too,

::shudders::

huh? wha?

2004-02-16T10:56:29Z

Tonight I was proposed marriage.
It all happened in the most romantic of settings; a dive bar called The Three of Clubs.
His name, Charles. His sign, Aries.
I said, "a marriage between you and I would never work. I am a Taurus, after all."
He said, "Oh, Taurus? You like the romantic. Can I take you on a romantic date?"
after much laughing,
I said, "Huh?"
I was drunk, you see, and so was he.
He said, "come to my table. NOW. You better come to my table."
and since I find aggressive guys amusing, I went to his table...
But only after I downed two more strange elixirs my number one love The Bartender (who looked like David Arquette) tried out on me.
He, Charles, was sharing the table with this most beautiful girl. Her name was Laura and her dark brown hair spiraled around her face in the most fascinating manner. I was all about her. Laura. I asked her many a question. She wants to teach, too. She likes to write, too. She wanted to know about me... I wanted to know about her.
So mysterious, so serene.
She's a Cancer.
A marriage between her and I would work.
I ignored Charles.
"What else, Laura?"
He looked irked, irritated. I saw his hand reach for hers under the table. "Are you together?," I asked. "No," she said, "we have been friends since grade school," she said. But something about the way he touched her under the table creeped me out. School yard friends don't touch like that. Reminded me of that crap movie THE DREAMERS, in which these twin brother and sister shared a quite unnatural bond.
Fortunately, Charles had to go to the powder room, if you will, and left Laura in my care!
I made my moves.
and it was like ...
her sighs, her kisses
troposheric.
heavy and intense,
dense
with sticky expectation.
nothing frivilous in what she unearths in me.
i talk in tongues
and fall under the mass,
the meteorite-like force of her presence.
no longer buoyant and wieldy,
i am liquid
pure amber saturation
golden particulate matter beading across her lips,
sliding under her hands,
pooling puddles pouring through spidery fingers,
consuming her in an immense flood of transcutaneous kisses.
soak. soak. soak.
aaaaahhhhhhh!

Then fucking drunk ass Charles shows the hell back up and breaks up the tea party.
"I am going to marry this girl," he says about me, as he rubs Laura wrists under the table. He reaches over to run his hand through my hair.
I recoil.
Laura says, "What did I tell you about touching strangers?"
all matronly. all mommy-like. all eewwwww.
It's all drunken weird burger, so I make some excuse, leave and join my friend at the bar for some normalcy.
Only, she is talking to the fucking modern day version of Charles Manson and Bobby Beausoliel, who, by the way, challenged me to a staring contest.
I won.
Weird, weird night. and this was just one tinsy slice of it all ... I won't even get into the sexual harrassment I experienced at a store ironically called Virgin!

Adventure is not just a game for the Atari 2600, baby!

2004-02-08T20:03:25Z

My kitchen faucet exploded a few weeks ago. The spout just burst off its base as I washed dishes, water launching skyward like a geyser. There is this plastic circle thing, I believe it's called a "washer," and it is cracked. I am thinking that may have something to do with the spout's inability to stay attached to the base. Don't know for certain, I am not a plumber. I just know I need to fix this ASAP as washing dishes in the bath tub is becoming pure annoyance. This is turning out to be a really boring entry... Moving on to something a little more exciting...

I am going on a road trip today. yah!
One of my stops is lovely, scenic Temecula, where I will take "artsy" photos of the dandelions growing amongst the scattered litter by the side of the freeway. Why? Cause I wanna. Then its off to The Home Depot in Escondido, where I will be purchasing a new washer for my kitchen sink. Why? Cause it would be nice to take a shower without stepping on Fiestaware.
Now you may be wondering, does the fun ever stop???

And the anwser would be a resounding NO, because before I do any of these inspiring stints, there has been talk that my friend (who is obsessed with the ridiculous) and I (who shares same said obsessions) will be visiting the sort-of world renowned The International Banana Museum in Altadena, which claims to not only be the first Banana Museum, but also the LARGEST one in the WORLD, buddy! And yours truly is gonna rawk it! Why? Because it's too ap-peel-ing to pass up! HAHAHAha, haaa, heh, eh, moan.

And then finally last, but most certainly not least, my foray into adventure will wind its way into the depths of San Dee-freakin-eggo where I will see The Shins. It's no picnic by the freeway in Temecula, but me thinks it will be good, good times! Then, after the concert, it's a quick jump over the border into Tijuana for an after-concert, before-the-long-ride-home midnight snack at this little hole-in-the-wall taco stand somewhere on Sanchez Taboada Boulevard this former-gang-member-cum-youth-speaker told me about. (I am all about the dashes, biyatch!) Supposed to have the best burritos and fish tacos in all of Tijuana AND it's open until 4am, so you know I am all over that shit. Then it's back to Los Angeles ... and work the next day ... maybe ...

just for shits and giggles

2004-01-20T00:31:33Z

Lovely day off. I did a whole lot of nothing, which suits me fine. Aside from talking on the phone, napping, and watching movies in bed, I paid a visit to eHarmony, which according to the commercial I saw on Lifetime, uses scientific matching to find you the most perfect mate. Sounds like a total crock... So of course, I filled out their free personality profile thing and waited for them to match me up with theee perfect person for me ... and they did! Unfortunately, they did not provide a picture (you can only view pics if you are an actual paying member, not some bored person looking for a laugh), but they did provide me with a name and his location. His name is, get this, Shiva and he lives in Kahtmandu, Nepal, which is terribly exciting because I used to tell my mother when I was in the first grade that I wanted to grow up to be a beatnik and live in Kahtmandu. Now I can make that childhood dream come true!
The only obstacle to ovecome is that I don't have a pic of my perfect match, the man who is in perfect harmony with me on "29 key points." So I did a google search for men named Shiva in Khatmandu, Nepal and this is what I found!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet My Most Perfect Match

Imagine the fun to be had with all those extra hands!!! Oh, and any guy who can bring a snake to the boudoir is top notch in my book. Check out his fashionable preference for leopard print clothes! And I like a man who shows his distaste for Indian Doug Henning impersonators by striking them down and not only standing on them, but vogues while standing on them. You go Shiva! I can't wait to have your blue babies! Wow, eHarmony really works!

I will NEVER drink again ... this week.

2004-01-09T03:56:13Z

Went out bar hopping last night. I got soooo smashed.
No, wait, that's an understatement.
I was beyond smashed.
I was so beyond smashed that the light from smashed would take five years to reach me.
I have a vague memory of talking to some girl who said she was Kate Hudson's sister. I also hazily recall talking to a woman who drives out from the OC to stalk the bartender. I said to her "You do know he is gay, right?" She said, "Fuck you" and walked away. I thought that was funny. So did Kate Hudson's sister.

Other stuff happened too, too ridiculous to explain. Bottom line is I had to go to work today hung-the-hell-over. I would have called in sick, but I already called in Tuesday and Wednesday because I was milking this cold I got. It sucked so bad walking into a classroom of LOUD kids while still feeling residual drunkenss.

"Keep it down, kids ... your teacher has a hang over."

Ugh, I am a bad, bad girl.

hooray!

2004-01-06T22:40:13Z

So much for me to be excited about!

1)

I am going with Lottie and her hubby to London. While there, much exploring, clubbing, and pubbing shall ensue. I look forward to seeing the much adored Calvin, whose pussified resolution to not drink anymore shall be broken, whether by free will or Camille's will. Either way, much fun will be had, whether he wants it or not! YAH! I might even possibly hook up with an old best friend of mine, Sherri, who lives in Wolverhampton now. She and I were once super close, but I moved to LA and she moved to the UK. It will be so fantastic to see her again. Oh, and maybe I will see Nick again and make the boy a man! mmhmm!
Paris will be just Lottie and me ... oo la la, the fun we can have! I am so excited about Paris! I am going to find Vincent Cassel, or his look alike, and make out with him - I heard those French people have their own style of kissing? I am curious to try this French kissing thing! Oh, and another thing to be excited about - Lottie and I got matching Fine French Kitty duffle bags so we'll fit in with the French peeps , hehehe.

2)

I am going there based solely on intuition. A few months ago I was thinking about Spring Break and I wrote a long list of all the places I want to go to. I couldn't pick from the list. I could not narrow it down. Then one Sunday morning, I am waking up from a dream and I hear a voice so loud and clear in my head saying "That's it! I will go to Vancouver!" Vancouver was at the bottom of my travel wish list, but I am going to trust my instincts and listen to the message my subconscious sent and go ... could be the stupidest thing I have ever done ... or the greatest ... we'll see.

3)

I have always wanted to go to Alaska. And I have been wanting to do the National AIDS Marathon for awhile. I was going to go for the Honolulu Marathon, but I just found out that AIDS Project Los Angeles has the Mayor's Midnight Sun Marathon in Anchorage, Alaska and that sounds sooooo unbelievably great to me. If I raise $3,000 for AIDS Project, I get free hotel and air fare to Alaska and a chance of a lifetime to not only run a marathon for a cause I really believe in, but do it in the most breath-taking of settings during the week of the summer solstice -- when the sun never sets. How great is that???

4)

I found out about this show after all the tickets sold out. I was so crushed because I love the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and have been dying to see them in a small, intimate venue, and that is just what the Troubadour is. I searched eBay but the tickets were going for over a hundred each. No way. But then I found this guy on the internet who has an extra ticket he is willing to give me for free if I give him a ride to and from the show (he is in Torrance). Torrance is not that close, and this guy could be a psycho killer for all I know, but I don't care! I am so excited to go to this show.

5)

Don't scoff at me! I am well aware this seems pathetic that I am excited by these trashy shows, but frankly, if you don't watch these shows, you don't know what you're missing! They are so bad, they're good!